Podcast

Lawyers spend years building networks. But a network and a real relationship are not always the same thing.

Steve Fretzin learned that distinction in a way he never expected.

At 26, Steve was flying home from Wisconsin when the engine of his plane began sputtering. It was nighttime. Rain had started falling. The pilot attempted an emergency landing on a small street in Crystal Lake, Illinois.

For a moment, Steve thought they were going to make it.

Then the wing clipped.

The plane flipped upside down, crashed into a house, and split in half. Steve woke up severely injured. His girlfriend suffered a traumatic brain injury and spent two weeks in a coma.

Then Steve discovered who showed up.

His lifelong friends were there. His family was there. But people he had thought of as little more than associates also came out of the woodwork. They brought him a beer, sat with him, and helped him through his recovery. His sister cared for him when he could not care for himself.

That experience gives a different meaning to a word lawyers use constantly: relationships.

In this episode of That One Lawyer Podcast, Neal Goldstein sits down with Steve Fretzin, founder of Fretzin, five-time bestselling author, host of the Be That Lawyer Podcast, and a nationally recognized business development coach who has spent more than two decades helping lawyers build their practices.

Steve talks about growing up as the son of a successful Chicago lawyer and how his father shaped his approach to work, relationships, and entrepreneurship.

He also shares how his mother’s serious health problems forced him to grow up quickly. After multiple strokes left her a paraplegic, Steve found himself taking on responsibilities most 18-year-olds never face. Those experiences shaped how he thinks about family, loyalty, responsibility, and showing up for other people.

Those lessons eventually followed him into his work with lawyers.

Steve and Neal examine whether the legal profession has confused networking with relationship building. Lawyers have more connections, followers, and digital access than ever before. But does any of that automatically create genuine relationships?

Steve believes lawyers need to slow down, stop pushing for business too early, and become more intentional about the people they invest their time in.

One lesson from his father captures that philosophy:

“If you can’t make a sale, make a friend.”

Neal and Steve also discuss one of the biggest missed opportunities in law firm business development: what happens after a case ends.

Too many lawyers allow the relationship to end when the legal work ends. But an existing client already knows you. They have experienced your work. The trust has already been established.

Why walk past those relationships to chase strangers?

Steve explains why business development should look different depending on where a lawyer is in their career. A lawyer with decades of client relationships needs a different plan from an attorney who opened a firm three months ago.

Some lawyers need to reconnect with existing clients. Others need prospective clients, strategic partners, centers of influence, or an entirely new professional network.

But there is a larger problem across the profession: lawyers are expected to develop business without being taught how.

Lawyers spend years learning the practice of law. They go to law school, work cases, learn from experienced attorneys, make mistakes, and improve.

Then they are expected to build business and often told to simply figure it out.

For younger lawyers especially, Steve believes understanding both the practice of law and the business of law is increasingly important.

The conversation eventually returns to Steve’s father and the relationship that influenced so much of his life. Steve was able to record a podcast episode with his father before his death. He also hired a videographer to record his father and his father’s twin brother telling their life stories together.

Those recordings are now treasured.

This episode is about networking and business development, but underneath both is a more important question:

When professional relationships stop being about business, who actually shows up?

Subscribe to That One Lawyer Podcast for conversations about the relationships, decisions, resilience, and human experiences behind a career in law.

CONNECT WITH NEAL GOLDSTEIN
Instagram: @nealagoldsteinlaw
LinkedIn: / nealagoldsteinlaw
Youtube-That One Lawyer Podcast: / @thatonelawyerpod
Amazon-Who’s In The Waiting Room: https://a.co/d/07jjIYej
Amazon – 68 Power Moves to Build a Law Firm Clients Can’t Ignore
https://a.co/d/069EfAMG

CONNECT WITH STEVE FRETZIN
Website: https://fretzin.com/
Youtube – Podcast: / salesresultsinc
LinkedIn – / stevefretzin